My partner and I have a beautiful baby girl but he would rather play Call of Duty than spend any time with her or me. I have had enough.
I’m 25 and my partner’s 27. We’ve been together for six years and our little girl is 15 months old.
My partner doesn’t make any effort with her. If she goes anywhere it is with me alone – he simply isn’t interested.
If he isn’t working, or on his Playstation, he’s asleep.
He isn’t interested in taking her to see his family and they are equally disinterested.
My mum is amazing with her which is great. I am currently doing up our house but my partner takes forever to do anything.
I have started to resent him. I thought we’d be a great family because we know each other so well.
But it feels like he’s happy to gamble with us now.
I’m not saying I’m perfect, far from it. I get angry quickly with him because I don’t feel he does enough for me or our daughter.
I just get a horrible attitude from him which then makes things worse. I don’t feel like he takes any responsibility, or makes any effort.
He was my best friend and boyfriend for years and I honestly feel so let down by him.
He has a new job so things are better, but then when he comes home, he either goes straight on the Playstation, or upstairs to sleep.
He says it is his time to relax, which I understand to an extent, but he should be able to change a nappy, or make his daughter lunch without complaining every now and again.
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He’s always wriggling out of spending time with her and looking for a way to palm her off.
I sometimes feel as if he isn’t mature enough to be a dad.
DEIDRE SAYS: He may have old-fashioned ideas about men’s roles especially if he grew up with a father who wasn’t hands-on.
Turn the PlayStation off and tell him you need a serious talk.
List all the jobs that need doing and ask him to sign up for ones which he is going to take on as his responsibility.
There’s room for compromise. An hour of gaming per day would make your lives more harmonious – but only once your daughter is settled in bed.
Your boyfriend may not feel confident about being a dad so you may need to show him the ropes.
Suggest he check out www.dad.info which has all sorts of ideas and support for dads.
Encourage him to look after his daughter a couple of nights a week so they can build a real bond of their own.
Make yourself scarce so you’re not tempted to criticise or step in.