DEAR SHAUN: I am looking for something to do on Friday in Worcester. Do you have any suggestions?
DEAR LOOKING FOR A GOOD TIME: Well you didn’t leave me with much, but I’ll bite. There are lots of great things to do in this wonderful little city. I’m sure this publication is telling all about the fun things to do this weekend. That being said, I will absolutely not in any way mention that The Sort of Late Show with Shaun Connolly also starring Doug Guertin and Bryan O’Donnell is occurring Friday at Ralph’s Rock Diner. I will definitely remember to tell my editor to omit the part where I say that the show is at 8 p.m. I am also making a note, currently, to have them remove the sentence mentioning that the show is free. On top of that I will make sure to not even type into the document who will also be on the show. In no way will I tell you that Nikki Erskine of stART on the Street, Vaughn Slowaski of Scoop, as well as comedians Will Smalley, Brieana Woodward, Al Christakis, Danya Trommer and Mary Spadaro will be appearing. So, now that I have not told you about any of that. My other suggestion would be, “Applebee’s or bowling?”
DEAR SHAUN: Football season has started and I have been pressured into joining my company’s fantasy football league. I really don’t know much about the sport, other than watching the commercials during the Super Bowl. Do you have any suggestions on who to pick for my team?
DEAR DOUBLE FANTASY: Tough luck, I don’t know much about football, either But, I do know fantasy. So here are my suggestions: at quarterback select my character from “Elden Ring.” I am an Elden Lord now and I am very powerful. This is the perfect character to be in charge of the offense. At running back, select Link from “Zelda.” Link is fast, agile and can carry a lot of things. I can’t help with all wide receivers but Cthulhu has so many tentacles that it would be hard for them not to catch one of the Elden Lord’s passes. For tight end, pick The Undying from “Final Fantasy 12,” this guy is tough as nails and can really catch a quick one over the middle from any top quarterback. For your defense I would choose a whole group of Ents from “Lord of the Rings.” These guys are huge and can withstand a lot of blows. Finally at kicker, pick none other than Adam Vinatieri, he must still play right? He had all of those winning field goals for the Patriots a couple of years ago. I bet if you asked, he’d play for your team, who wouldn’t want to with a guy Link at running back?
Worcester comedian Shaun Connolly provides readers bad advice in his weekly column. Send your questions to email@example.com.